Evenings with families …
Ah family evenings, this little cocoon in which it should be good to meet at night, to share our discoveries of the day, our projects, our difficulties. This moment of the evening which concludes a busy day, where we would like to be able to enjoy shared laughter, games, moments of complicity … And yet THIS MOMENT OF RE-WORK is often polluted by all this logistics: the preparation of the meal, the storage, etc. It is already not easy to be physically available for our children, but it is even less so mentally! With our children, homework can quickly become a chore; while with our teenagers, it is difficult to take them off their screens. It is often mission impossible.
After a busy day, we usually want to rest. We don’t want him to make noise, to scream, we would like him to speed up the shower-bath-must-brushing routine in order to be able to hope to spend a little time together. does not want to fight or negotiate and our ability to listen is strained.
Yet the engine of our family is this quality time with our children, it is these moments of complicity which strengthen our bonds, which nourish our relationship, and which make us all want to please the other, because we feel “connected” to him. Besides, why did we want children at the base? (yes yes at the very beginning?) To love them of course! To take advantage of the moments with them, “to share” .. No, our goal was not to become responsible for the timing, in charge of making them speed up, of telling them all day long what is wrong. , what he should do .. wearing out. Granted, this is part of the parent package … But shouldn’t we keep in mind that our primary objective, is above all to “connect with them”, to know “how they are doing”, to bring joy to our family, to take care of these moments together?
Easy to say, less easy to do you would tell me! However, we are not talking about “spending a lot of time together”, nor of taking 1 hour to play with them. Although, of course that would be very cool! But in the evening by finding them, it is a question of privileging our relation, of take the time to look at them, to listen to them, to love them. And the rest after. First, I show you that I’m happy to see you again, no matter if your homework is done, first I am interested in how you are, how you feel, before trying to know your grades. First I’m interested in what you’re doing: “What game do you play? You show me? “, Before trying at all costs to do“ what to do ”.
Not easy, but little by little we can train ourselves to tend towards this for our own happiness as a parent, but also for that of our child.
So I wish you to return home this evening with the simple first intention of sharing quality time with your family. And already it’s huge.
NB: And if, like me, you find that it is not always easy to create this moment of complicity with our child or pre-teen, or to find discussion topics a little deeper than usual, we have edited a completely new journal: the Gratitude Book (5-12 years old), Special parent-child complicity, which is a great support for create this meeting with your child. Children aged 5 to 12 who have tested it, took great pleasure in sharing this little moment with their parents every evening, and enjoyed the 80 pages of simple but powerful questions, small games, challenges, moments of gratitude, and other surprises!
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We would love to give thanks to the author of this article for this remarkable material
Evenings with our children: what if we enjoyed it? – COOL PARENTS MAKE HAPPY KIDS